1-9 The Hydra of Bureaucracy

I feel like I’m fighting a Hydra made of bureaucracy and bullshit.  Each time I cut off a head and think I’m done with a problem, five new ones sprout from the stump and start hissing at me.  The normal life problems of being a human in the US, I can kind of handle.  But there is this whole host of problems tied to Jason’s life and death.  Those hydra heads have extra nasty poison named grief.

I’ve been trying to keep the house.  After months of filling out the same form (I shit you not, I filled out that form 4 times, because I kept missing things like checking a box or didn’t write my full name in all 3 places, or didn’t write in their full company in both places or I didn’t properly arrange the salt circle to contain the demons of paperwork while reciting the chants of summoning middle management), I finally got my mortgage holders to agree to a forbearance scheme on the house.  Basically, I’m not paying now, and I pay up the full year on June 1st.  This buys me the time to get at least some of the settlement money and decide from there if I can keep the house.  After that, and a few more forms, the loan holder decided I needed to short sale the house, because I’m not making enough to pay for it.  (While true at the moment, it ignores both the settlement money and my earning potential after I graduate.)  I ignored that letter until the offer expired and since I did nothing, I’m not selling the house right now.

I cut off that head.  I won.

Then the fucker went and sprouted like five new heads because Capital One is shutting down their mortgage branch and so they sold the mortgage to Rushmore Loans.  Capital One said all agreements currently in place would be honored.  Silly me that I believed them.  I am now getting foreclosure notices because my loan is behind on payments.  So, not only do I have to call a whole new host of bank and loan people, but the paperwork from Rushmore still has Jason’s name on it, so I’m probably going to have to first prove that he’s still dead, then prove that I have a forebearance and don’t need to be paying, then go through the renegotiation process again so that I can find out that there still isn’t a better option, so that I can be told to short sale the house again, so that I can ignore that offer letter.  By then it will be May and I’ll have to pay anyway.

This is without getting into the obnoxiousness that is frozen pipes in the house.  On a related note, I think I finally figured out why they filled the boiler system with glycol.  (For all you warm-climate folks, glycol is like antifreeze.  Filling pipes with glycol keeps them from bursting in the subzero temps and is sometimes done to winterize cabins and places that don’t have constant heat.  It was weird that my house had that, but since there is so many other bits of weird, I didn’t think anything of it.)

I’m also fighting the Hydra-On-Cocaine known as the health insurance industry.  I’ve been on COBRA from Jason’s work since May 1st.  (Fun fact, if your health-insurance-providing partner has a “change in circumstance” that leaves you without coverage, you have until the end of the month.  Jason died on the 30th.  My month ended fifteen hours after the “change in circumstance.”  More fun fact, Jason’s really wonderful workplace rolled me into a solid COBRA plan immediately and then paid for 6 months of it.  They are an amazing company and I’m lucky to have had so much support from them in the past 8 months.)  I currently have really bad health insurance.  The good COBRA plan that I was on changed for the worse.  I’m trying to shift to a new plan in February, preferably one that I can afford.

It is another hydra.  I thought I had it slayed; I thought I had coverage lined up.  I applied for coverage through the state marketplace.  I got asked for proof of income, so I photocopied and sent in a bunch of paystubs covering the last 4 months of my income.  Boom, head removed!

Nope.  Turns out that I need to send them my 2016 taxes, all my 2016 W-9s, any other proof of income from 2016 such as pay stubs and checks, and a letter explaining why none of that is accurate.  Because that makes tons of sense.  Also, I have to verify my income from 2017, because I’ve had different jobs over the last two years, which means finding all my paystubs and checks from 2017, half of which are currently with the lawyer so that I could prove my income to them, so that they can argue with State Farm about how I need to be paid for the 7 weeks of work I lost in May.  Once I send it in, I then have to wait a week and call them, ask them to go find all the paperwork I sent them and process it while I’m on the phone so that it gets done in a timely enough fashion for me to get health insurance by February.  Because that also makes sense.  Fucking hydra sprouted some more heads.

Can I at least get some badass poison tipped arrows out of this?  (Though if you follow the mythology, that would lead to my eventual demise at the hands of a jealous lover when they hand me a beautiful origami lion coat lined with the poisoned blood of some paperwork centaur.  Then I would ascend halfway up Mount Olympus to become a god of petty bureaucracy.)

 

 

**Unless you have really concrete answers or experience with these, I don’t really need assistance.  This is just me venting and frustrated.  I’m doing all the things I know need to happen, it just takes a huge amount of time, plus the additional time of dealing with the reason why I’m in this position, which is something most of the people on the phone just don’t understand and can’t understand and honestly probably shouldn’t understand.

 

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