There is a lot on my plate right now. I mean this in the least whiny way I can say it. I just have a lot of Big, Stressful, Scary things all staring at me with beady, predator’s eyes. I’ve got a stick to beat them back with, but it’s a very small stick and they are very large beasts.
I’ve got some fun depression symptoms going on. I’m managing that in my own ways.
I’m 5 weeks from finishing my Master’s capstone. I’m not managing that as well, but I am determined to graduate.
My grandmother is in the hospital, which sucks for a lot of reasons. It sucks that my grandma is sick, it sucks that she is old, it sucks that she her death is looking to be sooner rather than later. I’m currently in Arizona trying to help my family find the next steps to get her the best possible care as she fades further and further from our shared reality. For me, this is purgatory. It sucks.
We’re creeping up on the 1 year of Jason’s death, and I can feel it looming. It doesn’t help that my hour-to-hour reality is about death right now.
All of these things interact with each other, pile onto each other, and generally make a mess of my emotional state. They’ve also made a mess of my schedule.
I’m busy chasing these predators into the woods with a stick. I’ll be back once the woods are safe again.