I’ve been quiet about a lot of things recently. It’s been a rather bonkers few months. But here is something that has been on my mind. Jason gave me the gift of art. He didn’t know it. Or he didn’t fully understand what he was doing, but this is what it comes down to. Jason…
12-20 Why I hurt: Part 2
Last week I talked about safety and healing. That is one part of why I think I (and the other widow/ers) complain of increased pain and other physical symptoms. The other part is the way our brains are processing our grief. Think of it like circuitry. We have a certain number of circuits for processing…
12-14 Safety, Healing, and Video Game Mechanics
I’ve talked about the widowhood effect before. This is a phenomena found in widow/ers over the age of 65 (because there aren’t enough of us under 65 to study in a statistically significant manner) in which folks who have lost their partners report greater amounts of pain, are less responsive to pain medication, get sick…
12-5 Health Insurance: An American Tale
It is becoming common knowledge around the world that United States’ health insurance and medical payment system is completely fucked. Here is my story about how lucky I am, and also how messed up this is. Health Insurance plans are required to continue coverage until the end of the month in which you had a…
10-16 More Grief (aka Writing Angsty Shit on the Internet like I’m 18 again)
Either Jason wasn’t real, or his death isn’t real. Even at seventeen and a half months, I can’t reconcile both of these things. There is no way I had this and that I don’t have it now. The lifetime that I shared with him can’t be the same lifetime I am living now. Maybe it’s…
10-5 All is Not Doom and Gloom
I got a new job. It is a career type job. Like, an actual job with a salary and 40 hours a week and benefits and paid parking. I have business cards to prove it. (Please don’t call or email that contact information. I may have business cards, but I can’t seem to get into…