Sometime last week, I scrawled: And if we were given the choice to love Or live forever We would dig our own graves. These were the words that were echoing in my head the way people get songs stuck on repeat. They are written diagonally across the page, under the grocery list I sent my…
Tag: feelings
12-20 Why I hurt: Part 2
Last week I talked about safety and healing. That is one part of why I think I (and the other widow/ers) complain of increased pain and other physical symptoms. The other part is the way our brains are processing our grief. Think of it like circuitry. We have a certain number of circuits for processing…
12-14 Safety, Healing, and Video Game Mechanics
I’ve talked about the widowhood effect before. This is a phenomena found in widow/ers over the age of 65 (because there aren’t enough of us under 65 to study in a statistically significant manner) in which folks who have lost their partners report greater amounts of pain, are less responsive to pain medication, get sick…
10-5 All is Not Doom and Gloom
I got a new job. It is a career type job. Like, an actual job with a salary and 40 hours a week and benefits and paid parking. I have business cards to prove it. (Please don’t call or email that contact information. I may have business cards, but I can’t seem to get into…
9-20 Legal Summary: Part 3, Entirely Feelings
I was ready for a fight. It is just shy of a year since her first court hearing. It has been eleven and a half months since I first saw the person who killed Jason. Eleven and a half months of knowing that she doesn’t care that she killed him. There is weight to each…
9-19 Legal Summary: Part 2, Less Facts More Feelings
I want to acknowledge that I consented to her plea deal. I knew what I was doing when I made that choice, and I do think this is the easiest choice for me and for Jason’s immediate family. I think that the plea deal is overall a good thing. But that doesn’t mean I have…